Remember the time...

How many Bolo's?

2006-07-27T21:08:00.000-07:00

Since I've been having a hard time remembering really old memories, I've decided to pick a memory thats a little more recent. I could be wrong, but I believe the game "How many Bolo's?" was invented during the summer after our first year of college. For those of you that don't know the game or don't know who Bolo is, here is a little background.
Bolo Yeung is a martial arts superstar, probably most famous for his characters in the Bruce Lee film Enter the Dragon and the Jean Claude film Bloodsport. In short, Bolo is the most fearsome being to ever walk the planet. Now I know all of you are probably thinking, doesn't the fearsome title belong to Chuck Norris. Just to settle your doubt here is a true Chuck Norris fact: The REAL Chuck Norris was eaten by Bolo. The Chuck Norris you know and love today is infact a robot replacement. Ok, lame joke but anyway, Bolo could pretty much kick anyone's ass over their face. With that in mind, back to our story.
Matt Levin, James Mitchell, Stephen Coussens and I (forgive me if I left someone out) were all sitting around chatting about how weak the human race is when physically compared to others in the animal kingdom. We wondered how many humans it would take to defeat animals like lions or bears with only their bare hands. In order to determine this however, we had to establish which human would be used as our representative for all other humans. Our question inevitably led us to Bolo Yeung who, once again, is the buffest, craziest, and least merciful man alive. The "How many Bolo's?" game quickly took off. We started off with smaller animals like tigers and bears and lions, all which we determined would only take 1 Bolo. Next were animals like rhinos and elephants; These only take 5-10 Bolo's. Our laughter increased as we thought of more and more animals requiring increasingly higher numbers of Bolo's. Finally after a few minutes, we had stumped our selves. Someone asked "How many Bolo's to defeat a whale?" We thought maybe like 500 Bolo's. However, we finally decided this to be a draw seeing as how there actually isn't enough surface area for 500 Bolo's to simultaneously strike a whale. As soon as the draw was determined, we couldn't continue any further; we were all laughing far too hard. Good times.
Since that time, we have played "How many Bolo's" many more times. My personal favorite has been "How many Bolo's to defeat a Velociraptor?" Of course the answer is two. One Bolo to distract the raptor and the other Bolo to raptor attack (attack when the prey isnt looking) the raptor.
Anyway, this post hasn't really followed the same format of my old posts, but it is still a good memory that I am sure many still enjoy. Thanks to everyone who is reading my blog again, and I promise to soon bring back old favorites such as "Unfortunate Yearbook Pictures", "Nicknames of the Day", and "Photo Successions"

Good Times

2006-07-27T18:37:00.000-07:00

Ok guys,
So it's been about 2 years since my last "good times" blog post. Yes, it's partly because I am lazy and busy, but mainly I was just suffering from a lack of motivation. The original purpose of this blog was to help us all remember the good times from the past. The other day I was trying to think of a story, any story of a good time from the past and I realized that I was having a really hard time remembering one. That's when I realized that I needed to start writing the memories down on paper again. So, with this new found motivation, I am opening this blog back up for business and hopefully it wont go down the poopshoots again. Anyway, enjoy and here's to the good times!

PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW

2004-09-21T21:30:00.000-07:00

...

One day when we were all in Mr. Pews 11th grade AP US History class, he began the class by saying, "It was the strangest thing class, last night I had a dream I was really mad at you guys for some reason. It was very strange because you are one of my favorite classes... I don't know why I would have a dream like that..." Everyone chuckled for a bit.

A few days later, out of no where in the middle of class, an electronic beep went off. All of the students looked around to see what the sound was. Class continued... A minute later the same beep sounded. Once again the students all looked around to see where the noise was coming from, hoping that Pew didn't hear. Pew looked up from his podium and asked for everyone to check their electronic devices immeadiately. Class continued... Then no more than a minute later the beep sounded once again, this time class did not continue. Pew angrily slammed his teaching book closed and asked once again, "Would whoever's electronic device that is PLEASE SHUT IT OFF!!!" By now the class was in a panic and everyone was checking cell phones, pagers, cd players, even their TI 83's. Just as Pew began to open his book again... BEEEP! That was the last straw. "FINE!!! WE DON'T HAVE TO FINISH OUR LESSON TODAY IF YOU CAN'T KEEP YOUR CELL PHONES OFF!" Pew walked over to his desk and sat down, whispering profanities under is breath. Everyone sat in their chairs like deer in headlights, not knowing what to do. The beeping persisted so finally, Pew decided that the sound was coming from Melissa Berg's backpack. He marched over to her desk and picked up her backpack and threw it outside the door. This did not solve the problem. Still convinced that it was Berg's backpack, he marched outside, took the bag and locked it in the History core. Upon returning to class, Solomon Lee shouted to Pew, "So, it looks like your dreams came true Mr. Pew." There were random moans and boos from the students. James Mitchell even responded "SOLOMON!!! SHUT UP!!" Class was cancelled for the day...

A few days later it was decided that the schools all call system had been acting up, and it was not Berg's backpack at all. At the time, that was definitely a bad time, but we can all look back now and say... Good times.

Unfortunate Yearbook Picture

2004-09-15T01:09:00.000-07:00

Juan Cisneros' 10th grade picture. Can anyone guess his age?

Nickname of the Day

2004-09-15T01:01:00.000-07:00

Ashley Hanna aka Jamesette

Nickname of the Day

2004-09-14T01:02:00.000-07:00

Robert Matei aka Fuhrer

Fucking Fuhrer-less...

2004-09-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

A few moments in Fuhrer history.

Robert walks into a room with a drink in his hand. He goes to sit down next to Caityln but accidently spills his drink on her as he sits. He looks over to her and says, "Well... better you than me."

Robert approaches his econ teacher Mrs. Reinl after not being in class for a few days. "Can I take the test for today... like... later next week?" he asks. "No" she replies. Not expecting that response he adds, "Well, why not?"

and last but not least...

Robert, Matt, and Stephen all went out to lunch one school day. Matt and Stephen wanted to just go get some fast food and then get back to school so they wouldn't be late for class. Robert however really wanted to go to this hole in the wall Chinese restaurant. Stephen and Matt finally gave into Robert's nagging. After recieving their food they all realized that it really wasn't all that great and that they were all going to be late to class. Once the check came Stephen and Matt put in their money and looked over to Robert. Robert looked at the guys and said, "Hey can you guys spot me... I don't have any money."

Good times.

Nickname of the Day

2004-09-12T23:22:00.000-07:00

Ryan Bowen aka Fathead

Photo Succession: Ryan Wong

2004-09-12T23:14:00.000-07:00

...

Are those regulation size or what?

2004-09-12T22:31:00.000-07:00

..........

There's five more minutes left in Mr. Hertzogs 10th grade English class. Student Pat Febre turns around in his seat and is caught off guard by the sight of Amy Becky Gordon's frontal region.

Pat: You know, you have really big...
Amy Becky: You think I don't know that?
Pat : Cool...

Good times.

Metaphors Be With You Kearney

2004-09-11T21:14:00.000-07:00

....

There is a crowd of students surrounding the AP literature class montage. Kearney is just looking at it for the first time.

Kearney: Who is this?
She points at Pamela's picture
Pamela: That's me!
Kearney: Really? Noooo... I mean... This picture doesn't look anything like you.
Pamela: Really?
Kearney: I mean you just look so good in this picture... well I mean you just look like a super model...
random gasps and boos from the crowd.

Good times.

Unfortunate Yearbook Picture

2004-09-11T20:35:00.000-07:00

Can you find Keith Howell?

Nickname of the Day

2004-09-11T20:29:00.000-07:00

Mr. Kass aka The Kassmaster

Nickname of the Day

2004-09-11T10:55:00.000-07:00

Lisa King aka Bertha Hagen Daaz

Would you like some cream with that?

2004-09-10T23:18:00.000-07:00

......

There was a large get together at Caitlyn's house for her 19th birthday. Everyone was talking and having a good time. Brigitte and a friend were talking about a record store that she had gone to earlier. Very much excited about the store Brigitte told her friend, "Oh my gosh, you woulda creamed your pants." Hearing the remark as he passed by, Caitlyn's dad began to snicker. Caitlyn looked at her dad and gave him a very alarmed face. Her dad replied, "Oh cmon, like I don't know what that means." Thoroughly grossed out and embarrassed, Caitlyn said, "Daaaaaaadd..." Alerted by the commotion, Caitlyn's Mom came over and said, "Cmon, I feel left out, tell me what you said Brigitte!" Finally after much prying, Brigitte gave in. After hearing, Cait's mom didn't know what to say. Good times.

"I put the Cait in apprecia... oh wait"

2004-09-10T05:39:00.000-07:00

...................

Shining Moments in Caitlyn History.

I am only posting this because we all love Caitlyn dearly, and this would have to qualify under "good times."

After holding a basketball for quite some time, Caitlyn put her hands to her nose and smelled them. In response to the smell she replied, "I smell like balls..."

Connor and Caitlyn were a team when playing a game of hide and go seek in cars. After one of the rounds they both stepped out of the car. A friend jokingly asked "What were you two doing in there?" Connor replied, "Having sex." "Yup, all the holes," Caitlyn added.

Don't worry, there is more to come. Good times.

Nickname of the Day

2004-09-10T05:22:00.000-07:00

Rene Vasquez aka Rene Fast Guy

Unfortunate Yearbook Picture

2004-09-10T05:16:00.000-07:00

Most kids dress up for picture day... This was not the case for Ali Evans in 10th grade.

Nickname of the Day

2004-09-09T05:07:00.000-07:00

Kenneth Shy aka Duckman

The Danger of Sausagely Transmitted Diseases

2004-09-09T05:01:00.000-07:00

Urban Slalom Coasting

The following story contains mature content that may not be suitable for children.

My old friend (will remain unnamed and referred to as ‘old friend’) who I hadn’t seen in a while was in town and stopped by my house for a visit. Two weeks prior to this visit he had undergone a surgery to remove one of his testicles. Apparently he had a serious injury and it got to the point where removal was the only option. Being that it was only two weeks since his operation, he was still very down about the whole matter. Anyway, he was feeling good enough to play some basketball so I invited some friend over to play; Kris Capello, Connor Carroll, and Pat Febre. All of us were outside on my driveway shooting hoops when by chance two of the basketballs rolled over to Kris’ feet. He picked both of them up, one in each hand, and said in a loud sing songy voice, “Anyone need a ball? I’ve got twoooooo…” Amazed by his unfortunate choice of words, Kris immediately passed a ball off and grabbed his mouth with one hand. We were all not sure if my old friend had heard what he said. Worried that he might have heard we tried not to laugh or sound like anything bad had happened. However, Pat did not know why we were all covering our mouths and acting weird. Pat asked in a loud voice “I don’t get it, two balls? What?” Unfortunately we will never know if my old friend heard what was said.

Here is a side story concerning the same old friend.

My old friend and I were in a Cosco with his mom. We got to the check out line and I ran to the food stand to grab a polish sausage. I came back and his mom asked me, “You like condom-less sausages?” I replied, “You mean condiment-less?” Awkward… Good times.

Nickname of the Day.

2004-09-08T23:45:00.000-07:00

Chris Mercado aka Watermelon Head

Poop in the mouth.

2004-09-08T21:31:00.000-07:00

.................................................................................

It was a sunny afternoon at Glenn Park and I had met up with some friends to play some 3 on 3 tackle football. This must have been 10th grade and we were probably taking a break from studying for AP tests. One team was Brian Hansen, James Mitchell, and Brian Lunt. The other was Mark Evans, Matt Levin, and myself. As any other football game, this one was filled with trash talkin, butt slappin, and the occasional "Mormon Moon." def Mormon Moon: A technique done on the line of scrimmage in which a Mormon will turn 180 degrees to the line and pull down his pants and or underwear. Usually a technique executed by more than one Mormon at a time in order to distract the other team. My team however, was not participating in these indecent actions. Anyway, the game was going like any other game until the final play. We were all getting tired and my team had one last chance to score. We were in the red zone and the score was tied up. I snap the ball to Mark. He backs up and searches for Matt downfield. One Mississippi two Mississippi. James is all over Matt as they are both struggling for position. Three Mississippi four Mississippi. Matt gets past James and makes a break for the endzone. FIVE MISSISSIPI! Both Brians come in with the rush and I try to the hold them back. In desperation, Mark launches the ball. Everyone turns to see who will get the ball. As the ball comes down from its flight, Matt and James both dive. Matt catches the ball at the last second right before they both hit the ground. Mark and I immeadiately began to jump up an down in celebration but James and Matt however were both still on the ground. It looked like they had both landed pretty hard on the ground and just couldn't move. When we got closer to them we realized that James was rolling around laughing, and that Matt's winning catch had landed his face in some dog crap. Soon everyone was rolling around laughing except for Matt. After making fun of Matt for a while we figured we should try to clean him off. The best we could do was splash water on him from the drinking fountain. When it was time to go home, all of our parents picked us up, but Matt's dad refused to let him in the car with dog crap all over him. Unfortunately I don't remember the rest. All I know is Matt made it home somehow, but he never got all the dog crap off of his face. Good times.

Those were the days...

2004-09-08T19:41:00.000-07:00

Ello everyone. Recently I realized that I have a lot of stories that make me laugh or smile when I think about them . I figured I would write them all down before everyone gets old and forgets about them. This blog is dedicated to the good times that we have all shared together. I hope many of you will enjoy remembering these events. Even if you weren't there, I hope you can enjoy a good story. Feel free to add to the stories with comments. To go along with the "good times" theme, I will try to keep the blog updated with funny pictures and such. Oh, and I can't read or write, so forgive me if the writing really sucks. Good times.